Upside Down
by ghoulgraverobber
Summary: AU. Nothing matters when the only place you can find comfort is staring down the loaded barell of a gun. Gang fic. NejixSasu and others.
1. The Gun

new story i've decided to write, even though i have two other ones going right now. heh.

anime: **naruto**

description: it's pretty much naruto stuck into gangs. i love gang stories. they're so frickin awesome. so i'm writing my own. it's going to focu around neji, sasuke, gaara and naruto. and some other people.

this IS a yaoi/shounen-ai story. the pairings aren't official yet. most likely nejiXsasu as the main pairing though.'

**disclaimer; don't own don't sue.**

enjoy.

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He edged slowly over to the railing on the roof of the building. His feet taking the most cautious baby-steps, not wanting to fall to his demise. The myriad of stars in the sky shined down onto his lithe frame, the twilight playing across his pale soft skin, etching shadows onto his prominent cheekbones, making inviting gestures to the breeze blowing melodiclly through the city. He felt his stomach churn as his fingers came in contact with the rough metal barrier preventing him from playing out the images flickering behind his eyes - blood covered sidewalks as people pointed and stared at his crumbled and gnarled body splayed across the walkway. His breath caught in his throat as he inched further, short leg swinging over the rail, chased by the other. Now only a mere two or three inches of concrete and brick seperated him from the gap of polluted city atmoshpere in front of him.

His nerves we're overwhelming him. Why was he out here in the first place? What was driving him here?

_Everything._

That was the only answer his adolescent mind could conjure. He knew that it was correct also, that's what was driving him insane. Driving him to his very last short nerve.

He felt his knees slowly begin to bend as the breeze blew against his cheeks, making him sway. His neck gave in lathargically, his eyes flickering shut. He could feel it coming - could feel the rapid beating of his heart in his chest. Maybe that'd kill him before the impact of the fall did. He hoped it would. He was leaning farther forward now, his back curving like a hill, his spine jutting out through his tight t-shirt.

Everything was moving in slow motion - every twitch, every breath, every beating of his heart was slowed to an insane degree. The noises of the cars below him on the street blurred together into a mix like they were shoved into a blender on puree. The ringing of honking horns sitting in his ears, the smell of exhaust and gasoline penetrated his nose, he felt the air brushing against his skin - even though there was no wind. His senses were hightened acutely, making everything even more overwhelming.

His right foot was slipping now, the tips of his toes brushing gently against the concrete, his abdomen and chest leaning with it.

He was falling.

It seemed like the only alternative really. Nothing mattered, nothing seemed right, everything was just screwed the _fuck_ up. Nobody needed him, he was useless and would always be useless.

But then why did it feel so wrong?

If he was so sure of himself, so sure that this was the only way, that he didn't matter, then why did that deep dark pit in his stomach churn deeper and that humming in his brain, why was it growing louder and louder? Why did it feel like he was making the biggest mistake of his life?

Oh well, to late now. For his body was almost all the way off the edge of the building, begining to fall forward and off. The wind having started to rustle again, or maybe that was the breeze he was creating? He couldn't tell anymore. The tears were to cold on his cheeks and the dirt in the air stung his watery eyes to much for him to care. It was over now. Even if he wanted to jump back over the rail and run back into that forksaken hell, he couldn't. Nothing could save his damned soul from the fate that was now his. He would have to deal with it for now, because nothing else was possible.

At least he thought.

But, everything Neji had ever veiwed and had opinions about would change in the next fifteen minutes. Because the person clenching his tight t-shirt wasn't going to let him off easy. Itachi Uchiha wasn't one to forgive, nor was he one to forget. And he was not going to let Neji live this moment down.

"Hyuuga Neji, would you like to tell me why exactly you where about to throw yourself over the edge of this building?" The voice of the Uchiha was peircing, it hurt for Neji to listen to it.

"I – I don't know." He muttered, embarassed because he lacked the confidence to actually tell the elder.

"**You don't know?**" He breathed out. "Interesting you say that, **Neji**. Because the look upon your face when your body was heaving over the edge of that building said differently." He snapped.

"Is it such a sin to not want to tell a snark bastard why they just almost committed suicide?" The Hyuuga breathed. He struggled against the grip Itachi still had on his shirt.

"I'm taking you to see Yondaime." He scoffed, beginning to pull the boy.

"No! Please!" He pleaded, but the look upon Itachi's face was unchangeable.

The Uchiha was going to drag him all the way to the Yondaime's room at 2 in the morning. Neji could feel the pit in his stomach churning deeper and deeper. He needed to break the uncomfortable silence between the two on this trip.

"So, why were you up so late Itachi? I mean surely you need your beauty sleep, right?" Neji just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"You have quite a mouth on you for only being an eleven year old, you know that brat?" The question was rhetorical.

"I asked you a question." Was Neji's simple reply.

"I couldn't sleep." Itachi said flatly. "I kept thinking about the other night." He elaborated, and let the tiniest inkling of emotion slip.

"Oh, I see." Neji looked at the floor, feeling bad for asking. "Sorry." He said.

"Don't be." Itachi pushed open a door to reveal a sleeping Yellow Flash at his desk.

Itachi kicked the metal piece of furniture and it vibrated, sucessfully waking the blonde.

"I'm sorry Jesus! It wasn't my fault he forgot to buy the damned cream cheese!" He cried indignantly.

"Yondaime sir?" Itachi questioned tenatively.

The Yellow Flash whipped his stare at the two standing in the front of his desk.

"Oh it's just you Itachi. And Neji?" He was surprised. Itachi was not.

"Neji, approximately twenty minutes ago, tried to kill himself by jumping off the roof of the building, sir." Itachi regurgitated like a robot. Yondaime cringed at the automatedness of the young man's voice.

"Is this true Neji?" The Yondaime questioned worriedly.

"Yes." Was the hoarse reply.

"Why, Neji?" He said sadly. From the familiarity of the Yellow Flashes's voice, Itachi asumed this wasn't the first time the boy had done this.

Neji stared nervously at Itachi and began to fidget. Getting the picture, Yondaime waved for him to leave. But the uchiha did not budge.

"Itachi, you've been a wonderful help. But I have to ask you to please leave." He sighed.

"Considering I was the one who saved his life, I feel it appropriate to know why exactly he needed saving in the first place." Itachi said softly.

A sigh was heard from behind his desk.

"How about we deal with this tomorrow?" The Yellow Flash offered.

The two nodded and left after saying their goodnights. They returned to their respective rooms where they laid awake for the rest of the night.

Every possible thought keeping them awake.

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reveiw! 


	2. The Bullet

second chapterrrr.

i didn't get as many reveiws as i had hoped.

SO, GO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS STORY AND MAKE THEM REVEIW.

i don't care if you tell me it's a big heaping pile of garbage, i'll appreciate it all the same.

you get to see emo sasuke, and angry neji.

great, right?

sorry for the unintended/vague poking fun at emo's.

**disclaimer; don't own, don't sue.**

enjoy.

* * *

Sleep deprivation, they say is one of the main causes of aggression on human beings. And, I think it's safe to say that an hour and a half of sleep is considered deprivation. Neji was feeling aggressive just thinking about it. But fatigue is no reason to be excused of duties. Even if you did just try to kill yourself the night before, and you felt like at any moment you would explode into someone's faces.

Or break down and cry.

But, he had to do what he's been doing for the past six months. He has to put it all aside, he has to box it up, keep it inside. He cannot let these things interfere with his work. Could you even call what he did work though?

None the less, it still required him to burn carbohydrates and calories, therefore his sad sorry feet wandered to the restaurant area of the facility. Neji grabbed a muffin off the counter and sniffed it before taking a bite. Two bites later he threw it away, his stomach blatantly protesting. He got some coffee and sat down at a table. He ran his fingers through his long hair, he was going to need to get it cut soon, if he lived that long.

'_Why did Itachi have to ruin everything? Damn him.'_ He mused, sipping the steaming liquid infront of him. He could be dead right now, but no the damned Uchiha had to intervene like the **kind** (read: evil) soul he is.

Neji felt someone sit down next to him. Strands of yellow hair caught the corner of his eye and he noticeably gulped.

"You know that I can't let what happened last night be brushed under the carpet, Neji." Said the grave voice from the right of Neji. The Yondaime hadn't gotten any sleep either, and Neji immediately felt guilty for worrying the man so much.

"I understand fully that my conduct was completely disorderly, and I am abashed that I let it even happen. I am fully prepared to face the consequences that you are to deal to me." Neji mumbled, sipping his coffee some more.

"Well for one, your going to have to start seeing a shrink," he started "and your going to be under surveillance and your jobs are going to be cut back." He looked sternly at Neji, but he only gave the look half of emotion, because he really didn't mean it.

"Sir, I don't think it's necessary to omit me from work, or even reduce it. I am fully capable of doing whatever is necessary to keep everyone alive." Neji shot a look at the Yondaime.

"I suppose." He said, picking some dirt out from under his nail.

"And what not a better way to occupy my troubled mind then by work?" He stated.

"Don't refer to yourself like that, Neji. It's self demeaning." The Yellow Flash scoffed before standing.

"Anyways, your first appointment with the therapist is tomorrow afternoon. I will have someone escort you there. Be in the front lobby at 12 o' clock sharp, no excuses." The Yondaime ran a hand through his hair before rubbing his temples violently.

"Yes sir." Neji mumbled before continuing the aimless task of stirring his cup of coffee. He heard the Yondaime get up from the table and wander in towards the general direction of Hatake Kakashi's room. Neji sighed over dramatically. He got up and thre out his still full cup of coffee before heading back to the room he shared with Sasuke.

He made it halfway down the hall before Itachi emerged from a room and came to the Hyuuga's side.

"I'm going to visit Sasuke." He said knowing that Neji was undoubtedly trying to ignore him.

"I told Sasuke." Itachi continued on, rousing a huff from the younger boy.

"Why?" Neji finally replied.

"He deserves to know, he really cares about you." Itachi said staring aimlessly down the hall they we're walking through.

"Sure, whatever you say." Neji said sarcastically before stopping infront of a door and throwing it open, Itachi followed him in.

Sasuke was sitting in front of the heater listening to his iPod looking as detached and emotional as he can get. He lifted his head when he felt the breeze from the door opening hit his face. He looked back down and curled up tighter, ignoring Neji and his brother.

Neji ignored him too, walking over to his closet and pulling out a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

Sasuke had turned his music off and was now opting for staring at the ceiling.

"You two need to talk." Itachi finally said, breaking the silence.

"You need to mind your own fucking business." Sasuke hissed his fingers twitching, wanting to pick the iPod back up and plug his ears with angsty _stuff._

"Don't you **dare** get snippy with me Sasuke." Itachi growled, all the vehemence his voice could conjure laced into his words. He was replied with an indignant 'hmph' before more angry loud music was heard.

Neji had changed into his clothes, combed his hair, brushed his teeth, and washed his face in the time that had taken place.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was still lounging about in his blue flannel pajamas. The lazy bastard.

Neji decided that, the best thing to do would be to kick Sasuke in the side.

So he did just that.

And Sasuke retaliated by biting Neji's ankle.

"You two act like you should still be in Kindergarten." Itachi commented before leaving, making it a point to loudly slam the door behind him.

Sasuke sighed in relief and tugged Neji down onto the floor. Neji landed on the hardwood with an 'oomph' and an irritated 'oww.' Sasuke ignored these noises and proceeded to crawl into Neji's lap.

Neji felt the heat rising in his cheeks as the brush of the pajama pants rubbed against the exposed skin of his arm. He bit back a shudder as the Uchiha rested back against his chest, openly sighing in content.

Neither of them spoke. Sasuke was angry and still is angry with him. Neji knew this, he felt ashamed for making the other even mildly upset. He felt his fingers shaking as millions of thoughts rushed through his mind.

Then Neji heard the soft drip-drip of something on fabric.

He craned his neck to look at the fresh blood stains on Sasuke's pants, he had bit his lip so hard he had drawn blood. Sasuke smiled before licking the offending liquid away. Neji sat back and shut his eyes.

These situations never meant anything nice, ever.

The first time they had made physical contact was when Sasuke had gone out on a raid of some warehouse and had to shoot someone for the first time in his life. Sasuke had been nine. Neji had held the crying boy all night.

They quickly learned that in the world they existed in it was best to console in one person, not many.

And that their means of survival was their gun and their gang. Nothing else mattered except those two things.

The second time was when Neji had been up all night showering, trying to scrub the smell of guts off himself. He had come across someone he never wanted to meet again, that night. Murderers and serial killers aren't someone you want to meet, let alone sleep with. Neji was nine also. Sasuke had woken up to find Neji curled in the corner of the shower shaking. Sasuke had crawled in the shower with him, fully clothed and had sung him to sleep.

After that it was their first kiss - right after Sasuke had found out that Neji had tried to hang himself in the bathroom.

Now, sitting in their room, their cold cold room, holding each other - they both wondered what tragic thing had happened this time.

Neji had almost died again. But they both risked their lives everyday, didn't they?

What made this time any different?

The fact that it was one of those do-it-yourself deaths perhaps? Was that what was making Sasuke allow tears to escape his obsidian orbs? Neji supposed so.

"Stop crying, Sasuke." Neji mumbled into Sasuke's shoulder, his voice hoarse for no reason other than the throbbing in his heart.

"Shut _up_, Neji." Sasuke wiped at his now puffing eyes. "You're such a fucking asshole." He scoffed, before new streams of tears ran down his porcelain face. Yes, Neji was an asshole.

Said Hyuuga shoved Sasuke off of him before standing up and storming out the room. The Uchiha curled against the heater again, and proceeded to bawl his eyes out, after turning his iPod back on, of course.

Maybe Itachi was right, maybe the did need to talk. Sasuke shook the thought away.

'_No. .'_

Besides, actions speak louder than words anyways.

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rushed ending.

REVEIW PLEASE!


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